White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
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I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Send help, water and tortillas.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
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he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize