Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
