dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
