man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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