Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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