i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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