watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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