I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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