your parents love me but you hate me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize