The police scanner is talking about you again....
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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