there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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