so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize