You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My dad just said "fuck circus"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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