her vagine was all disorganized.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
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You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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