So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
