And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
