We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
