check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
