I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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