what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
