Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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