Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
