Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
