That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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