Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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