Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize