You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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