Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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