I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize