you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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