I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize