I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize