we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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