I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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