Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
