2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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