i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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