found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My liver just had a heart attack.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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