If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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