so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
