I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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