She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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