I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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