Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
and i looked up. we had an audience...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
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Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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