if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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