so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
