okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
