She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
