He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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