you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
